Friday, April 20, 2012

The Evils of Possibility

There is a part of me that really doesn't like the possibilities of time. With unlimited time, with the possibility of anything, comes a huge responsibility. What do you do with that time? How much do you want to do? Why is it so wrong to do nothing? But what if you try to do something, and nothing comes of it? You see what I mean. The 'gift' of time isn't something that I particularly like. I kind of like it when I am told what to do by others, so I don't have to have the responsibility of failure if it doesn't work out.

So I guess at the end of the day, what I really don't like is failure. All the little slogans in the world aren't going to change that. And trust me, I've seen/heard all of them (at least it feels like it). Nothing has made me feel better about failure. Failure sucks. Especially if it's in something that you care a lot about.

The summer is coming, which is what brought this on. And after the summer, my first semester for the school of music at University of Utah. I can't tell you how much that freaks me out. Starting a new school, having a new baby, moving 'back' to a new city. It's all a little overwhelming.

However, I am going to set goals so the summer of possibilities doesn't drown me with it's enthusiasm.

1. Start and Finish my novel Taint
2. Work on 3 major Grand Opera aria's (still need to chose those three)
3. Read all the books on my YA lit list
4. Read at least one religious book per month (for those that need help, that's 4 books)
5. Start looking for crib, basenet, car-seat
6. Choose decorations for the nursery
7. Find apartment

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