Shopping for the Audition!!

So, looking back over my check list, I have two things I can check off.

1. Finish application for BYU

2. Film prelim audition.

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday was a bit of a rush. I got up bright and early at 8:30am. I know, I know, for most people that isn't early, but for me that is like the crack of dawn! Imagine how I look and feel in my first class of the day on T and Th. Yeah it's at 8:30am, so I have to be up at 7:30am. Pretty much the soul crushing, life killing time of the day. LAME! But I just went on a total tangent that really has nothing to do with what happened yesterday.

Change lanes, U TURN!

But yesterday, I got up . . . early and showered and dressed, ready for a day of shopping. See I didn't have a dress that I felt was suitable for filming an audition. So i took the debit card (to my husbands shagrin) and went to the store. Well, to liked 10 stores. No joke. I went to:

T J Max, Ross, Macy's, Debs, Urban Outfitters, Nordstroms, 2 <3 Love, Head over Heels, and many others.

After the first three stores that I didn't find anything, I was getting very discouraged. Two problems with shopping for Hayley Bell. 1) I am 6'0" tall. That means nothing fits right. Dresses that would be totally fine for some women, look like I tried on my nieces dress-up clothes. 2) I am also a size 14 (which I am very proud of!). I have found that most clothing stores do not have any idea of what the general populace wears. Every store I went to, I found every size up to 13, or no sizes beyond a 9. It was very disheartening. I was beginning to loose hope when, up came into my view . . .

JC Penny

My saving grace!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't know if it was a sale, or if they just knew that I needed a dress yesterday, but there it was, a great sale and GREAT dresses. I tried on a ton of dresses, but nothing really fit quiet right. Nothing gave that amazing flare.

Then, on the rack, acting like a simple dress that didn't have powers of making a voluptuous body look amazing, was a black and grey dress. It didn't look like much when I saw it, but decided 'what the heck' no reason not to. I went into the dressing room, tried on the dress and gasped.

This dress did things to my body that I never knew existed (get your mind out of the gutter!). It sucked in all the right places, and also curved in ALL the right places. WOW!! I felt like Christina Hendricks (pictured left).

So I was pretty happy!! Sadly I do not have a picture of me in the outfit. When I have the DVD, I'll post a few shots and some video for you guys. Hugs!

When life gets hard

When we have good day's, they're great! When we have bad day's they are the worst that we could possibly imagine. When we have bad months, that's when it starts to rag on you. Let's list out some things that have happened in the last month for Weston and I.

1. Wisdom Teeth removal

2. Complications from WTR

3. Emergency bone graft surgery to fix complications

4. Stitches came out

5. We spend close to $100 on drugs to handle pain and bacteria

6. The FED's took $90 from us because we transfered to much money from our savings account

7. Our credit card was closed because of an incorrect address

8. We just found out we can't afford to go to CA for thanksgiving

9. I'm crazy behind in my classes because of above WTR process

so on and so forth . . .

So pretty much life is crappy right now. I am so sick and tired of dealing with the crap that has come at us for the last month. I am tired of pain and of not having money. I tired of going to school every day when I hate it. I'm tired of looking at the pain in my husbands face because he doesn't feel like he can provide for us. I'm just . . . tired.

NaNoWriMo . . . For real this year!

Okay, I'm getting ready to start NaNoWriMo on Tuesday and I'm super excited.

What is NaNoWriMo you ask?

National Novel Writing Month

Yes, you write a novel in the month of November. The clincher is the novel has to be 50,000 words or more. Lets do the math shall we?

Per week: 12,500 words

Per day: 1,666 words

Equals to 3 pages per day, with no breaks, no days off, no slacked off pages.

AHHHHHHHH!

But I'm going to do it. I am going to stick with it and I'm going to finish my novel. I am going to face the daunting task and for once in my life, I am going to conquer all!! Wish me luck!

Weight Watchers

I've decided to join Weight Watchers. My father was admitted into the ICU last week with complications from Diabetes. It scared me. I got the call from my mother that he had been admitted to the ICU with diabetic keratosis. Basically, it turned his blood to acid and he had no moisture in his body. His body had turned against him. It was very scary going to the hospital, entering the ICU. The last time I was in a hospital was when my nephew Mika died. So, there was a little trepidation about me going to the hospital to see my dad.

Once I got to the hospital, I realized how serious what happened to my father was. He could have died. It was a very real possibility. He didn't, which was great, but it was a pretty big wake up call. I have the same blood, the same family history. My Uncle Ken died because of diabetes, other uncles and aunts have gotten it as well. I am at really high risk. I don't want to go through that. I don't want to die from that.

So once again, I am starting a diet program, but this time I feel different. I feel a more sense of urgency because Weston and I are wanting to have a baby. I don't want to have this excess weight when I get pregnant. But it's really emotional. It's very hard to admit to myself that I have gained 50lbs since I got married. That's 15lbs a year. It's not morbid, but it is dangerous. If I kept going this way in another 3 years, I would be approx. 270lbs. I refuse to do that to myself and to my husband.

"In God We Trust" my 4th of July talk!

Below is the talk I gave in church today. The topic we had was 'In God We Trust.' Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

In God we Trust. A slogan, a Battle Hymn, and a silent prayer. That phrase has passed through the ages as a banner of peace and hope for millions of people the world over. For it was trust in God that brought Nephi and his family to the American continent. The Pilgrims as well nearly a millennium later. Millions of people since have come the America because of the freedom that was established because of trust in God.

In God We Trust was first put into law as the official motto of the United States of America in 1956 by President Dwight D Eisenhower. Many believe the origin of the national motto came from the final stanza of the Star Spangled Banner written by Francis Scott Key in 1814 “. . . And this be our motto: In God is our trust.” While it wasn’t officially adopted as our national motto until 1956, it has appeared on US coins since 1864 and has been a part of the fabric of the building up of our nation. The founding fathers (and mothers) believed in God deeply and between 1700 and 1740 an estimated 75 to 80 percent of the population attended some kind of organized church.

George Washington in his first inaugural address in April 1789 said “. . . we ought to be no less persuaded that the propitious smiles of Heaven can never be expected on a nation that disregards the eternal rules of order and right which Heaven itself has ordained.” Even at that early state, many knew the importance of keeping God in our culture. An Ancient American prophet, long since dead speaks from the dust to us, in this day. “. . . behold, this is a land which is choice above all other lands; wherefore he that doth possess it shall serve God or shall be swept off; for it is the everlasting decree of God. And it is not until the fullness of iniquity among the children of the land, that they are swept off. And this cometh unto you, O ye Gentiles, that ye may know the decrees of God-that ye may repent, and not continue in your iniquities until the fullness come, that ye may not bring down the fullness of the wrath of God upon you as the inhabitants of the land hitherto done.” Ether 2: 10-11.

The America’s have long been a refuge for God’s people and we have been promised to be free and prosperous as long as we keep the covenants and commandments given to us. Elder Mark E Petersen said “Three great civilizations have occupied the Western Hemisphere. Two have passed into oblivion. Those that disappeared died by virtual suicide. They brought about their own extinctions as they defiled the land and defied their God by extensive crime, sexual deviation and other loathsome sins of almost every kind.”

In my lifetime, I have seen a drastic decline of morality in society (and I haven’t lived all that long). “. . . much of the corruption which is common among us today resembles in striking detail the degradation that afflicted [those ancient civilizations].” Many popular TV shows and movies don’t just show the collapse of the moral core of our nation, they flaunt it. But if we tried to say a prayer in a public building or bring a bible to class, we would be arrested and charged as criminals. We have lost our sense values.

John Adams said, “We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.” If we, as a nation, loose our morals, we will loose that government that God designed for us.

As society’s moral core begins to degrade and fall part, we see that many things we have taken for granted thrown into question. Such things as religious freedom and the right to practice our religion as we see fit. In the book Freedom From Religion, a law professor makes this three-step argument.

1. In many nations “society is at risk from religious extremism”

2. “A follower if more likely to act on the words of a religious authority figure than other speakers.”

3. Therefore, “in some cases, society and government should view religious speech as inherently less protected than secular political speech because of its extraordinary ability to influence the listener.”

He concludes “We must begin to consider the possibility that religious speech can no longer hide behind the shield of freedom of expression. Contemporary religious extremism leaves decision-makers and the public alike with no choice but to re-contour constitutionally granted rights as they pertain to religion and speech.”

That book was published by the Oxford University Press in 2009, only 2 years ago. In recent history books, many speeches like the Gettysburg address have been edited to take out Abraham Lincoln’s reference of God and religion. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said in an address to the Chapman University law students, “It is easy to believe that there is an informal conspiracy of correctness to scrub out references to God and the influence of religion in the founding and reservation of our nation.”

The first amendment of the Bill of Rights states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” We are seeing before our eyes, the efforts of many misguided and mislead individuals to revoke that freedom.

In God We Trust stands as a symbol of the sacrifice and religious fortitude that our nation has stood for, for over 200 years. We have fought wars both at home and abroad over that freedom. Today we see that freedom again under attack. Over this Fourth of July celebration, I pray that we can again remember that it was God and his hand that gave us the freedoms we enjoy today. Because truly, In God We Trust.

Weston got a job!!!!

After a month of nothing and weeks of worry and tears, WESTON GOT A JOB!!!!

Happy dance!

He's working for a company that does lighting. You'd think I'd remember it, but not really. But I do know that it pays enough, and we don't have to worry anymore. They way he got it was a little unconventional. He went in for an interview at 10:00am. I figured he'd be about an hour, maybe two if they really wanted to speak with him.

So 12:00pm comes by,

Then 1:00pm,

Then 1:30pm, and by this time I'm starting to get worried. I'm having visions of his body, broken and bleeding on the ground behind some warehouse that is dirty with homeless people. Okay, I got a little carried away, but come on . . . it's me.

So I finally get a text from him at around 1:40 saying 'Oh, we're going out to lunch. I think I got the job.'

Damn straight you got the job! If they are going to keep you on my day off for hours and hours, they had better offer you the job.

But at this point they still hadn't offered him the position.

Then at 3:30 I get the text

"THEY OFFERED ME THE JOB! I AM EMPLOYED NOW!"

Because I had been freaking that morning, then annoyed because they had kept him, then elated because he was offered the job and accepted, I was exhausted. Seriously, that's a lot of emotion to go through in the on day.

Weston came home at 5:45 ish that night with a job, and a first day under his belt.

And all I thought would happen that Friday was maybe a movie.

Steal Me . . . but don't take me to far!

My voice teacher assigned a new song for me from an opera called 'The Old Maid and the Thief'. Its about a transient man who is looking for food and money. And he is HOT! So the maid and the mistress decided to take him in and help him out. The mistress begins to steal money to help him, from the church and from friends, to entice him to stay. He does, but the maid is very jealous and tells him that people are beginning to suspect him of being the thief. The end of the opera ends with the man leaving with the maid, leaving the mistress alone.

At first I wasn't sure I would like the song. My voice teacher, Barry Bounouse, played it for me in our lesson and I was kind of hesitant to it. But I've been working on it and fallen completely in love. The music is very contemporary, so there are a lot of dissonant cords and strange resolutions. The video below is a pretty good redition of the piece.

The song is from the maid's view and she's singing about how the man won't make any moves to her. She goes through what the mistress has been doing to keep him there and he still makes no advances. It continues with her wishing he would steal her heart, her lips, her life and take it before death steals her life. Very nice.

Thoughtlessness

I understand that some people might be into their own thing. They might be so wrapped up in their own lives, they don't think about anything but themselves. But come on! How thoughtless can you be? It doesn't matter if your own life is so exciting, so wonderful, so thrilling. You need to be aware of others and their feelings. Don't plan things if its obvious you haven't invited others that are connected to you. Don't go out and do something and not invite someone that has been close to you for a long time.

It pisses me off.

Why isn't there JUNK when I want IT!

So here is my question, when you are on a diet, is it a good thing to get rid of all the food in your house that isn't approved on the diet? Many say yes. Today I say

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abso-frickin-lutly not! I had a crap day. A bigger then crap day and I wanted to do the one thing that I have been trained to do when I am stressed out. EAT. But because there wasn't anything in the house I could eat, I had to munch on a mango, half a watermelon and a bean lettuce wrap.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Those aren't binging foods. Those are health foods. Thats like me going into a gluten free restaurant and asking for wheat bread. Lame!

To end the day, I was cramping (being a woman is great!), craving and cursing the fact that I was on this stupid diet that won't let me make the Red Velvet cake mix that was sitting on kitchen counter.

10 lbs and counting!!!

I couldn't wait any more, I wanted to share my great news. As of Friday morning I have lost . . . .

9.6 lbs!!

YEAH ME! I haven't lost more then a few lbs over the last year and in just 4 days I lost almost 10 lbs. Can you believe it? I can't believe it. I was totally shocked when I saw the number on the scale. 206.6 lbs. So I started at 216.2 and now I'm 206.6.

But to be completely 1oo% honest, I did cheat at my sisters b-day party so I gained a few pounds. That was to be expected. I knew it would happen. But I've eaten pretty perfect, so I'm not worried. Tomorrow I'll be down even farther. I'm pretty psyched about it.

The food thing has been surprisingly easy. As long as I don't let myself get hungry, I'm able to keep the cravings down and the healthy food is getting better and better to the taste. We've been looking for new things to try and we're making some really great meals if I do say so myself. I made this really great broth soup that was cabbage and chickpeas, lots of spices and carrots etc. It looked a bit like chicken noodle soup, but tasted like a veggie broth soup. I really liked it and so did Jae, my sister. But Weston was kind of iffie. This has been harder then expected for him. I'm a bit surprised really. He is normally much better then I am at diets we try.

So tomorrow is Sunday, so I do a weight comparison and what not. I'm excited! Yeah team me!

Day 2 and a half!

Post that was supposed to be posted on Tuesday. I’m lame!


There are days where the only thing that is getting you through is the mantra “Just one more day, then the week is done, just one more day.” I’m feeling that way today. I’m not sure what it is, but I feel awful and I want to go to bed and sleep. It’s very frustrating because being an adult means you can’t just up and leave whenever you want to.

Yesterday Weston and I went to the restaurant called Soupilatious and Sweet Tomatoes. It’s a salad bar buffett that is perfect for the diet we’re on. All you can eat salad and vegetarian soups. LOVES! It was great because I got to fill up completely, but I wasn’t eating anything that wasn’t on our diet. (Lets not talk about the few bites of creamy tomato or creamy potato soup I had, that didn’t happen). Weston had a craptastic day and mine wasn’t much better, so when we got home from school and work, I said, “Off we get to Sweet Tomates!” Like how that almost, sort off rhymed?

The day was okay when it came to food.

Breakfast:
Orange
Grapes
Banana
Spinach (First time for the spinach!)

Lunch:
Salad
I don’t remember what was in it, but I do remember it was really good!

Day 1 of the Eat to Live cleanse

Day 1

Current weight 216.2

6:30am

Orange

Banana

Grapes

(Shake)

9:00am through 11:00am

Orange

Banana

Carrots

11:30am

Salad

Romaine lettace

Cucumber

tomatoes

Red Peppers

1:30pm

Salad

Same

Apple

And then I was out of food! I cannot tell you how hungry I was by 3:30pm. I called Weston and told him that I might need him to bring me some food because my stomach was going to eat itself! Fruits and veggies go through me really fast. Its like I don't even realize that they have come and gone and I'm hungry again!

So here is the format for my documentation of my Eat to Live journey. I'm going to write every day and let you guys know what's been happening throughout the day. If I was able to eat everything I was supposed to. If I was ready to kill someone. If I was ready to kill myself . . . you know, that sort of thing.

Each week I'm going to update my weight. That way, I am held accountable to you guys for my weight loss and my strictness of my diet.

So, day one is now down. I'll update tomorrow.

LOVES!

Hayley

Veneers and Lorazepan . . . an ode to crazy!!

Before

After

Monday was the Veneer Day! Here are the before and after pictures for my teeth. Now I know my picture of my before looks much better because of the fact that my make-up and hair are done, just ignore that. Just focus on my teeth.

It started Sunday night. I was given a prescription for Lorazepan. For those of you that don’t know what Lorazepan is, it is a sedative that works really really well! I took one Sunday night, on Monday morning and hour before the appointment and then 2 at 1:00pm during the appointment. Needless to say, I was totally out of it.

I don’t remember much of the appointment, only that the shots he gave me hurt really bad. More then normal. Weston thinks it’s because the Lorazepan blocked my ability to mentally cope with the shots. Also, he said one of them bled a lot. So that could have something to do with it. I’ve had so many shots lately though, that I think I’m getting good at taking them. Or . . . maybe not J.

Weston came to get me once the appointment was done. I was so out of it, I don’t remember him coming in our coming to get me. I remember being in the car and getting food. Then I remember waking up in my bed and going to get food around seven that night and then falling back asleep until the next morning. I woke up okay on Tuesday, but I was kind of shaky on my legs. I drove to work, looking back, that was probably not a good idea because only three hours later, Weston was coming to get me because I was so loopy.

Dr. Child gave me a few more mouth washes to use because I have a tendency toward canker sores. They seem to be working, keep your fingers crossed! So now I have temporary veneers in my mouth. I’m going to be getting custom veneers in about 2 weeks, then in about a month and a half I get the real ones. YEAH!!!!!

Voice Lessons!!!

La La La La!!!

All they want is the dancing! I hope'a his is as excited by dancing girls as your new managers, because I will not be SINGING!
- Carlotta Phantom of the Opera


I had my first voice lesson yesterday since I took my break in November. The break was involuntary because Weston lost his job and we couldn't afford it. So I went to see Phantom of the Opera being done by a high school in our area and was totally blown away by the girl that played Carlotta. Seriously, I have never heard that type of technique coming from a high schooler before. After the performance, I asked her who her coach was and got in contact with Barry Bounous (pronounced Ba-noose).

Funny enough, I found out last Sunday that my brother had also taken from him a while back. Small world! Anyway, I get to the Richards Building on BYU campus and I was really confused because the sign says its the physical education building. How am I going to take lessons in a gym, does that make any sense to anyone else? Hot sweaty bodies, huffing an puffing while I'm trying to sing and aria doesn't really appeal to me. Well, it turns out the east side is dedicated to the music and performance departments. So there are practice rooms and studios all over the place. It is actually very nice. I got there early and had to sit in the lobby for a while. Now understand, I hate sitting in the lobby. I hate being there with other people, we are all waiting and staring at each other. AWKWARD!

6:15 came and went and I still wasn't in my lesson. I knocked on the door once to let him know I was there, but it was still about five minutes before I finally got in. But it was worth the wait. He is a great teacher and I'm so excited to be taking from him. The first lesson is always about getting to know each other and getting to know my voice. The first thing he said was 'Yep, you are built for opera.' When I asked about that later he said that larger, taller people have a decidedly larger advange then short, thin people. For once my height will help!

He gave me two songs to work on and they are bellow. Tell me what you think!

HUGS!

Hayley

Eat to Live

Do you have any idea how annoying it is to have a sister that is prettier then you? Well, if you are one of those lucky few, then let me explain it to you. Have you seen the movie You Again with Kristin Bell and Jamie Lee Curtis? Readers digest version, KB's character has a high school nemesis that ends up engaged to her brother. JLC's character's high school nemesis is the aunt. So you can imagine the hilarity that comes out of that. But when they introduce the nemesis characters, their hair fly's back, their eyes sparkle and the birds begin to chirp. Very realistic. But that's besides the point. The point is that sometimes its like that when my sister comes in the room. That is my sister to the right. I love her to death, would do anything for her, but sometimes I wish she would stop being to dang beautiful!

But I was with her this weekend having a girls night with my other sisters for my sis in-law's baby celebration. We live fairly close to each other, so we always carpool to everything. While chatting, the normal topic of my weight came up. Now not in a bad way, but that is something that we talk about. Its a point of concern for me. She told me about this new diet that she tried for two weeks (like she needed a diet) and it really helped purge her body of toxins and she lost 8 lbs. Now on her thats like losing 15 lbs is you compare to a normal person.

So that got me to thinking and I did some research on the diet. It's by Joel Fuhrman called Eat to Live. It's basically a diet that is pure vegetarian for 6 weeks, eating only raw or steamed veggies most of the time. While most of you may think "WHAT? NO MEAT FOR 6 WEEKS!", I'm at my wits end. I have literally tired everything to loose weight short of pills and surgery. My sweet husband has been with me every step and is so supportive, I think he would have shelled out the thousands of dollars for me have surgery. But because we really don't have the money as we are both still in school, we're going with the cheaper version.

The claims that it has are pretty astounding. Some people are claiming over a hundred lbs of weight loss, but the average looks like 35-40 lbs. This is over the 6 weeks or over years. But I feel like its worth a shot. I'm 6'0" and weigh 210 lbs. It's not morbidly obese, but it is overweight and with the history in my family, I don't want to get a incurable disease.

If any of you guys have done this diet, let me know. I'm really interested in it and want to know who else has had success.

Word to your mother!!!!

Hayley