A Special Easter Message

On this day I want to share with you all my testimony of the literal birth, ministry, death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I have a very personal and deep relationship with my savior. I know that he lived and brought with him the one and only chance that we had and have to live again after death. He broke the bonds of death, he freed us from the captivity of the grave. Because of him I can live again with my husband, my son and my family forever. I testify that I know this is true.

He is risen!!!! 

Unexpected Adventure: I called the cops today...

You know those mornings when you wake up and you've gotten horrible sleep, but you know you have to make it a good day because there is a lot going on? I had one of those mornings. A good friend is moving this morning, I have a choir concert and homework to get done. It would be horrid day if I was in a bad mood. So I picked up my chin and said to myself "Self, it's going to be a good day. Okay?" Which makes this story even the stranger.

A good friend of mine's husband had received a transfer for work and they were moving. Today was the last day of their lease and Weston and I went to help. Things were going well, moving along quickly because they were SUPER prepared for us (which is a good example for me when we move in August.) They were expert movers as well, so we had almost all the big, heavy, bulky stuff out of the apartment when "the incident" went down.

Weston and I were moving a very heavy tub of kitchen stuff when a man from the apartment below my friend bursts, and I do mean bursts, out of his apartment SCREAMING at us. At first I thought it was a joke, like how friend will act angry in jest with a big smile on his face. But as soon as he pulled the f word out, I knew he was not joking. He's screaming things like "I'm so done with this sh*t, this is f***ing ridiculous. You people are so f***ing loud! I'm trying to sleep and you do this all the f***ing time!!" And other completely inappropriate things. I was shocked out of my momentary stun, and shot back.

"You're language is uncalled for. We are moving our friends, what do you want us to do?" He just kept screaming and cussing at us.
"Do you want me to call the police?" I asked him, thinking that if I threatened that, that it would calm him down. Nope.
"Go ahead, I'm recording all of this so you can't say that I threatened you."

Which gives us a clue to our morning antagonist. Either 1) He had the forethought to turn on the recording device on his phone because he knew he would come off as very threatening and aggressive, or 2) he has done this before and people have accused him of threatening them. In either case he came into this confrontation prepared. Being the good mom that I am, I knew that if I had threatened something I had to follow through because the child, or in this case man, would know that I have empty threats if I didn't.

I called 9-1-1.

Just as I got on the phone, someone from Concept Property Management (the management company of the apartments) happened to be there and came over to talk to the man who came out screaming. But I was already on the phone with the police, so I continued the call. Gave them all the info they needed, including a description of the man who was yelling at us and they said they'd send someone out to us. In the mean time, the man did in fact calm down, and went back into his apartment, giving us a nasty look for good measure.

By the time the cops came, everything was calmed down and over. They were very nice and explained that people are going to express themselves how they will and that there wasn't much they could do. Especially because the man did answer the door when they went to his apartment. I shake my head at that cowardly act. He knew who was going to be on his doorstep, and he couldn't answer the door even though he was the one to say "go ahead".

I wanted this on record because I wanted there to be a Domestic Disturbance reported, so at least there is a record somewhere. I've learned that even if the best thing to do is walk away and let it go, if everyone does that to someone like this, the person gets away with verbally abusing others. Or the person gets away with sexually harassing others, or stealing from others etc . . . I'm also going to officially complaining about this man to the property management company. I know that in the long run, nothing will probably happen to the man, and I'll go on with my life, like I already have. But it is a hope that maybe, if he does this again, because there is a record of it, the authorities (management, cops, whoever) will be able to do something.

When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I was going to call the cops. But I did. Every day is filled with possibilities!!

Breaks never happen do they?

I've decided, that when the Lord is testing and trying you, there are no breaks. No moments of pause in the torrential rain pour, no stemming the tide that is coming in, or boats of relief in the flood. If it all came at once, making my life suck for a few weeks then it is was over, I think I could deal with this. But when it's one thing after another, one fire put out then another crops up, I have a really hard time dealing. I am trying to feel better, remind myself of the many wonderful things that I have, the amazing husband I have, the wonderful child, an apartment that we like, school and loving friends. I try to count my blessings, things that the world can't take away from me. But my gosh, it's hard to have a cheerful out look when you feel like something else is just waiting around the corner to give you heartache and grief.

I have Diastisis Recti, but it's okay.

When my son was born, it was one of the best days of my life. It also changed my life forever, and my body. While my sweet little boy was growing strong inside my womb, he was also stretching out my skin, and splitting my abdominal muscles. With each little kick and twist, my abdomen was being pulled apart. Surprising how it didn't hurt, at all. After he was born I thought it would only take a few months to get by abs back into some semblance of shape. But it's now been 16 months since I gave birth but my stomach still is stretched and split.

So what do I do?

I've been afraid to try, afraid that it won't work. That this program or exercise won't really do anything. So why try?

But as I was holding my sweet little one, I realized how much I love him. And how much what my 'mummy tummy' looks like doesn't matter.

I love my son. I would give everything for him, even my voice (and coming from a vocal performance student, that's kind of huge), to make him happy. His is the light of my life, gives me hope with every day and every giggle. He is the reason that I get up in the morning (literally because he wakes me up.) He has changed everything in my life, and I bless him everyday for it.

So I have Diastisis Recti, and that's okay.

I GOT THE PART!

This last week has been filled with major emotional roller-coasters. On Monday, I had an audition for the school opera, which will be Hansel and Gretel this year. I've started seriously studying for our mid-term tests coming this next week, and we are trying in earnest to do some behavioral control with Michael. Those things all together made me a little bundle of nerves, going from happy to seriously depressed on the turn of a dime.

But lets start with the really amazing thing that happened this week. Like I said above, auditions for the school opera where on Monday, and let me tell you, I was totally freaking out. I wasn't sleeping the best because I was pretty stressed about the audition. For me this audition signified the first of many that are to come in my career as a performer. I felt the weight of not just this one audition, but of starting everything off right for the coming Spring semester, and my career at the University of Utah. Yeah, no stress right? So I worked harder than I had before, preparing for the auditions, learning music from the show.

At the auditions, I felt very confident and that whatever happened, I was proud of myself for having accomplished something I seriously thought was impossible. As I am not in the class this semester that would find out first who got what parts, a friend of mine got my phone number and said she would text me when she got the news. I wasn't expecting any word until Friday. But come Tuesday night around 10:00p, the list went up online and I got a text. The conversation is a follows:

"Hayley!!! I knew you could do it! Have you seen the list yet?"
         
                       "No. What?"
                       "The cast list is up already?"
                       "Ps, who is this?" (As I didn't have her number, but she had mine.)

"Mother in Hansel & Gretel!!! Congrats!"

                        " Not a cover? But the actual role?"

"Yep. But it's on canvas. It will be up on the voicebox door tomorrow as well."
"Jenny. Sorry"
"Yes, ma'am."
"You did it kiddo!"

                         "Wow, I'm kind of shocked."

"Why? You're good. Duh."
                   
                          " :)"

And that's how I found out I got the part of the Mother in Hansel & Gretel, the schools fully stated opera in the spring. Holy WHAT? At first I didn't believe it, my brain thinking it couldn't be true because I am just a sophomore. I was up that night until 2:00am because I couldn't get my brain to stop running.

But any questions I had were dismissed the next day when I got to school because everyone who was in Opera Workshop class were congratulating me on getting the role.

So this is me, 100% excited and ready to do the work for the show! AHHHH!!!!!

(my first opera, what a trip!)

Michael's 1st b-day party!

We had so much fun at Michael's 1st birthday party! The theme was Pirate, and boy did we go to town!!!! Here are some pictures of the fun (exhausting) event!

Weston be Captin' o' this ship! 

We had a whole set of cool cut-outs thanks to Stephanie Petersen! 

Amazing cake from Grandpa White!

My little Pirate!

We also had a fun 'water cannon' (water balloon) fight after cake and it was tons of fun! We all got soaked!!!!

Through sorrow and sacrifice, we are made whole . . . or are we?

An idea has been floating around in my head for the last few weeks, and an article I just read from this months Ensign (published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) prompted me to write some of my feelings down. Please understand that these are my opinions, not gospel or doctrine in any way.

As Pioneer Day comes up here in Utah, many people become very focused on the Mormon pioneers, as right they should. Stories are exchanged in church, in special events, all pertaining to the sacrifices of those wonderful people. But after reading/listening/watching the umpteenth story about how a great-great-great Aunt left all her things behind, and traveled west with nothing but her clothes on her back, I'm beginning to see a trend here. Sacrifice is everything, joy is nothing in these stories. We, as member's of the LDS faith, put so much emphasis in sacrifice, in pain and struggle, trials and grief, that I feel we forget what the main purpose of our time on this earth is about. Yes, it is a proving ground, but it is also a place for joy.

'Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy.' 2 Nephi 2:25  

The whole reason the Lord sent us to earth is to have joy. In a talk given by Elder Russel M. Nelson, he say's this about have joy:

“My dear ones,” I replied, “in order to experience true joy in the morning, or at any time, at least three factors are needed. You need to feel good about the people with whom you live and work—your companions in life. You must feel good about yourself—not in any sense of conceit, but simply a proper esteem for yourself, well deserved. And possibly most important, you must feel good about your relation to God and sincerely love him.” (General Conference 1986 Joy Cometh in the Morning) 

We are supposed to be filled with Joy, no matter our circumstance. I feel so much of the emphasis of church talks, discussions  articles, and general feeling of this life is about the sacrifices we have to give in hopes that someday we will be happy and have joy. But the time is NOW! We can have joy now, we can learn through joy. I truly believe that soon, we will be out of the time when the only way we can learn is through trials, struggle and pain. We are entering a new age where the spirit of God can teach us through joy, love and acceptance. I'm not saying that we won't ever have problems. Being on earth, alive, will guarantee that we will have problems, but we don't need to wallow in them, searching for the answers because we will already have learned good lessons through joy and love. 

The article I spoke of above was an article in the July 2013 Ensign entitled Powdered Milk, Budgets, and Blessings. First I want to say that I am in no way discounting the experience of this family. I know how hard it is to not have enough, and try and scrape by without things to pay bills and keep a car running. I grew up in a home without much and since that time, there have been months that my husband and I have had to rely on the Church for help with bills and food. But what I feel is being totted in the article is not a lesson of humility and love, but being presented as a badge of honor that they had to suffer to learn a lesson. If you carefully read some of the statements, you can see that either individually, or as a family, there was a resentment to the money that they had. 

'I found myself wishing for bags of clothing to be dropped off on our porch instead of taking trips to the store when they outgrew clothes. Although we had done much to teach our children, we had not done enough to structure our lives so they would feel the necessity of hard work. ' 

There are a few things about this sentence that struck me. As the mother of the home, she had the ability to say NO. She could have said no to her children about new clothes, new toys, but this sentence shows me that she felt obligated to go buy new clothing for her children, not seeing the tool that money was in her life, the chance she had to get new things for her children. It had become a burden. Second was that they had taught their children, but not that they had to do hard work. We have seen in the recent years that 'good old hard work' isn't what it was fifty years ago. People who work hard all their lives, reach retirement and expect the company that they worked for for forty years to take care of them, but instead are shown the door and given only their last paycheck. 401k's, IRA's, CD's and other retirement accounts are not longer as reliable as they once were. So the idea that to succeed in life, you have to work harder, we are finding is fundamentally flawed. We shouldn't work harder, we need to work smarter. 

The article goes on to describe the struggles and hardship that the family has gone through, and the lessons learned. Please don't misunderstand me. I believe there are times when we have to be humbled in able to see what the Lord wants us to see. Sometimes we are blinded by something that we have no way of changing otherwise. But at the heart of what the Lord does for us is Love. There are too many stories, too many experiences that are totted as the only way to learn something, or change is through pain and trial. I would like to offer a different idea. 

Can we learn through love? Can we learn through joy? Can we learn through happy experiences? 

Personally, I believe we can. But what do you think?